Tears and Fears
by ddggrule
Summary: The gang find themselves landed in a strange world, freezing, but the generosity of a local innkeeper keeps them from harm's way. In the dead of night, however, Fay confronts something he never anticipated... //KuroxFay, oneshot.


Syaoran groaned as he recovered from his awkward landing position, rubbing his head. "Ungh..." The ground was cold, and standing up proved a balancing act. Eyes adjusting, all he could see was himself, reflected over and over in a myriad of angles and distortions. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets with a shiver, he tried to get some semblance of a bearing. "Sakura-hime!"

"Syao - !" came a response, before a surprised scream and a thud as the Princess slipped and landed on her rear, grace not included. A slightly embarassed "Ow..." escaped immediately after.

Notcing her through the maze of icy mirrors, Syaoran could find no easy path to her -- ice jutted-up skyward, seemingly forever, and spotting an exit out of the cage-like structure into which he was encased was indeed an impossible task.

Lucky for him, then, that a certain black-clad ninja lacked any form of tolerance for such inconvenient surroundings. The only indication Syaoran had before the icy wall to his left was forcefully shattered was the resounding "Hama Ryoujin!!" seconds beforehand. Surprised, but alert, he narrowly dodged the attack's shockwaves.

"Hyuu~!!" The light, airy voice of Fay was accompanied by clapping and his beaming grin. "Kakoi! You really are amazing, Syaoran-kun." Much to Syaoran's concern, Fay was draped around a twitching Kurogane like a cape, pinching the ninja's cheeks as he spoke. "Your dodge was really elegant, unlike Daddy's attack here...!"

Syaoran was sure the heat eminating from Kurogane's fuming head could easliy melt any of the surrounding ice pylons, and boil and egg or two for good measure.

There came a slight knocking behind Syaoran, and, turning, he noticed Mokona tapping timidly from behind a sheet of ice. "Kuro-pon, could you get Sakura-hime and Mokona out of here?" the white meat bun queried. "Mokona can see too many other Mokonas and is beginning to question Mokona's sanity..."

Both Syaoran and Fay smiled at the little creature's plea. Sakura, still sitting on her sore behind, scooped up the small manjuu into her arms and stroked it affectionatley, giggling. Kurogane just rolled his eyes. "Cover your eyes you two," he warned. Sword raised, he began the incantation. "Hama...!!"

Then there was a pause. Nothing.

Syaoran blinked. "Kurogane-sama?"

Kurogane, sword raised in the air, looked ready to finish the attack. Of course, a certain someone's arms around his neck were hindering it.

"Eh, Kuro-ni, whatsamatter?" Fay chided playfully, poking the warrior's nose.

Kurogane's brow vibrated in a way that meant only one thing: the blonde must die.

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They'd been walking for around half an hour, following Sakura and Mokona's rescue, weaving in and out of the never-ending icy maze. Every now and again Kurogane would lose his temper and shatter another chunk blocking their route -- sometimes, these outbursts would catch the whole group unawares; at others, the frustrated growl or hand spasm would give him away, and they would all covered their ears.

Well, all except Fay, who seemed to take great delight in trying to talk over the ear-shattering sounds, pissing-off the red-eyed warrior. Syaoran could only imagine what wonders that must've been doing for Kurogane's stress levels.

"AND KURO-RIN HITS ANOTHER OUT OF THE PARK!!" the mage chirped, as yet another icicle dissolved with a bang. "HYUU!!"

"Fay-san," Syaoran began, in an attempt at preventing Fay's head being the next thing slammed into the heavens, "is...is this country as cold as the country you come from?"

Fay looked back at Syaoran, noticing his hands still dug into his pockets and the condensating breath escaping from his mouth in huffs. His gaze then wandered over to Sakura, arms crossed for warmth, hood up, sheltering not only her ears but those of a shivering Mokona. He blinked. It _was_ cold.

"Hey, mage, why don't you do something about this temperature," Kurogane interrupted. "Cast a spell to keep the manjuu, kid and the princess warm or something."

He looked over at the warrior, grinning, "But surely Kuro-daddy remembers that I don't use my magic?"

Kurogane cocked an eyebrow at the wizard.

"And, besides, if it's cold, it means I can snuggle up to Kuro-tan this evening!!" Fay's laugh echoed through the air.

"BAKA!" Kurogane spat at Fay, the blonde's laughter immediately silenced. "Stop playing your stupid games! It's freezing, and neither the kids nor the pork bun have enough clothing to keep themselves warm."

Fay shared Kurogane's glare for a moment, but not long enough for Syaoran or Sakura to notice, then sighed. "You win, Kuro-pon." He raised his hand above his head and began writing in the air with his index finger, golden trails of stardust left in its wake. It was if watching fire ignite and burn in slow-motion, air and light bent and distorted as magic weaved throughout it. The scarce few times Kurogane had ever seen Fay cast his magic had been equally as impressive: the writings dancing effortlessly out of Fay's fingertip were impossibly intricate, placing shame on every and any form of writing the warrior had ever seen. In the blink of an eye it had started and finished, the golden text dissipating all around them as if millions of microscopic fireflies.

Underfoot, the snow began to melt, and faster than Kurogane thought possible he could feel his ears and hands again. "Sugoi!" beamed Syaoran and Sakura in unison, echoing the ninja's thoughts, "Fay-san, thank you!"

Fay gave them one of his beaming smiles. Though Kurogane, however much he appreciated the warmth, was still angry at the other man.

Like most would've been, the kid, the princess and even the manjuu were entranced by Fay's magic, captivated by the wonder on display. Yet Kurogane was quick with his eyes, quicker than most, and for all of a moment, he'd noticed the look in Fay's own eyes as he spun out his lightshow. They were a void. Empty. Even their sparkling blue colour had temporarily vanished, replaced with a grey so lifeless that it angered the ninja even more.

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"...food here's crud. I can't cook worth a damn!! But if you want some good eats, head over to Marlene's Grill, just across the street," the innkeeper pointed, "and she'll fill you up, I guarantee it!"

Sakura found herself completely enraptured by the way the innkeeper spoke. His accent had such a drawl, and was so heavy, and she'd spent most of the conversation asking the man to repeat himself again and again -- but he was kind and didn't seem to mind. "It's not often we get such...exotic travellers in these here parts," he'd said with a smile.

They had landed in the country of Kentucket, a land plagued by constant snowfall and sub-zero temperatures. After a short walk from where they'd arrived, Mokona's feather-sensing skills had led the gang to a small hamlet at the foot of a mountain. "Ridgetown's where y'all are at," the innkeeper had informed, still enthused by their new foreign company, "and it's a fine l'il village if ever I did see one. By the looks of how dark it be gettin' out there, I'll be saying y'all need a place to camp tonight huh?"

They'd all nodded at that. "But I'm sorry, sir," Sakura had begun, "we have no money, nothing to offer you in exchange for a room..."

He'd blinked, eyeing-up the five travellers in turn. "A room? Just the one room l'il missy? For all y'all? Not under my roof! It'd look like one of them horrible sex scandals y'hear bout in the paper, what with y'all four in the same quarters. No, you'll have at least two rooms, and you don't you sweat it bout payin'..." He'd presented two cloths to Kurogane and Fay, an apron to Sakura and a hot metal iron to Syaoran (with an intrigued Mokona sat on his shoulder). With a wry smile, the innkeeper had added, "Y'all can help me clear up this evenin'!"

And so there Sakura was, preparing a few late night snacks for some of the other guests in the inn, the innkeeper blabbering over her shoulder and, at the same time, paying close attention to the food she prepared. "You cook like I aint never seen, l'il missy," he observed, interest everywhere in his voice. "Where're you folks from then?"

Sakura looked up from the food and smiled at the old man. "I-It's a bit of a long story," she began, "but Syaoran-kun and I are from a country called Clow." She looked away for a moment. "I don't remember much about it, but the city we live in is in the centre of a huge desert, and there are sandstorms blowing all the time. It's very pretty."

"Sounds rough," the man repsonded. "So, Syaoran-fella's the one over there?" He gestured.

Sakura giggled, "Yes, he's the one you've got smoothing out all your guests' clothes." She watched Syaoran work for a moment, Mokona helping him fold the clothes on the board, and smiled fondly. Bringing her gaze back to the innkeeper, she noticed he'd been looking at her intently, and blushed. "S-Sorry, I-I didn't mean to..." she flustered, "I'll get back to work!"

The innkeeper laughed. "Relax, l'il missy. I'm not one to hinder love."

Sakura couldn't bring herself to respond, and, eyes on the food, she blushed further.

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When the last guest had retired, the innkeeper had shown Sakura, Syaoran and Mokona up to their room, whilst Fay and Kurogane were in the kitchen, drying the last of the plates they'd washed.

"So what," Kurogane began, "us lot all in a room together is a sin against nature, but the kid and the princess shacked up in the same room isn't?"

Fay smiled. "I think the kind gentleman has noticed the...status of Sakura-chan and Syaoran-kun's relationship. They won't take any drastic jumps anytime soon. And they wouldn't want to anyway, what with Mokona in there with them."

Kurogane grunted. As Fay finished drying off the last bowl, the innkeeper poked his head through the door. "That Syaoran-fella and the l'il missy are all set," he said, tossing a key to Kurogane, "and that there's the key to the room I got prepared for you fine fellas."

Kurogane grunted again. "So I'm sharing a room with this idiot?"

"Don't worry Kuro-tan," Fay said, seeming far too happy with the situation, "I'll protect you from the biting bed bugs."

The ninja twitched "...Idiot."

"Anyways," the innkeeper continued, amused by the two travellers, "I'm gonna hit the hay myself. Your room's just up there on the landing. Have a good night folks."

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They found their way to the room not long after the innkeeper had left them, and Kurogane crashed on one of the beds with a sigh of relief, lying on his back contented. "Perhaps the best part of travelling," he mused, "is the sleep that comes with it."

Fay smiled at the tired warrior. "It's a shame we have to sleep in two seperate beds," he began. "I was looking forward to being wrapped up in your strong arms, Kuro-pon."

"Wh-what!?" Kurogane blurted, blushing. "D-Don't say things like that, it really creeps me out!!" He rolled over on his side, away from Fay. "Baka. Just get into bed and go to sleep, it's been a long day."

Kurogane hadn't quite anticipated how the blonde magician would interpret that. His body tensed in shock as he felt Fay's cool hand run up under the material of his shirt, along his back. His other hand made a point of turning Kurogane's body back over, so the ninja lay on his back, under the gaze of a kneeling Fay. "W-what are you...?"

"Kuro-tan didn't specify _which_ bed I should get into," Fay countered, "and your body is warmer than those blankets could ever be." Fay, grinning dangerously, continued working his hands all over the ninja's chest with the expertise of a masseuse, but the touch of a lover, and Kurogane felt his resistance evaporating. He cursed his fast breathing, his beating heart, his hard-on. But damn it, the mage was beautiful.

He let the smaller man remove his shirt and plant kisses all along his torso, each sending a small shock through his system. His eyes fluttered shut and his mouth opened slightly, small contented sounds escaping with every touch. He felt the pressure of Fay's waist upon his as the magician straddled him, felt the warmth of Fay's own body leaning over his, smelt his flaxen hair as Fay's face leaned in close. When he brought himself to open his eyes, his vision was entirely consumed by the other man's face looking longingly back at his. Kurogane held his breath, his heart thumping so rapidly, the swelling desire in his trousers next-to unbearable -- all those days they have to pretend that nothing's there, that there's nothing between them, only for these rare releases...

Fay brought his head closer, moving in for a kiss, but Kurogane stopped him and flipped them over, their positions reversed. The magician stared up, pleasently surprised by the development, while the shirtless ninja looked deviously back down at him. The sight of Kurogane's bare chest bathed in the moonlight from a nearby window caused Fay's heart to skip a beat, the raw handsomeness of the man he was about to lay with made undeniably apparent. Without care for the shirt Fay wore, the crimson-eyed ninja tore it from his chest, before bringing his own chest down to lay on his. The feel of their warm, exposed upper bodies pressed hard against one another was so beyond gratifying, betraying just how close the two had become and how close were destined to stay.

Before moving any further forward, however, Kurogane looked into Fay's eyes with what could only be called guilt. "I'm sorry," the warrior whispered silently, so silently, "I'm sorry for asking so much of you earlier."

Fay returned his look, though his was one of concern. "Kuro, what do you... --"

"Your magic," Kurogane cut in. "I made you use it to help the kids." He stopped, something caught in his throat. "I..." he began, but he found his voice began to strain, the desire to swallow rising, and his vision became watery.

Fay clasped the ninja's face in his hands, genuinely shaken. There were tears in his eyes. Kurogane was crying. And he had no clue what to do. He brought the warrior's head down to his chest, and let it rest there while he combed through his dark hair with his fingers, the silent tears of his lover running onto his bare skin.

"The look in your eyes," Kurogane continued after a moment, "the look in your eyes when you cast that warming spell... Y-you were dead, weren't you?"

Fay's hand stopped stroking. And his silence was the answer.

Kurogane raised his head from the other's chest, his tear-stained eyes now looking into Fay's once more. "I don't understand you, Fay."

The mage just stared back at the warrior, the warrior whose gruff facade had all but fallen away in this moment. The warrior who had been so shaken to see him, dead. He couldn't begin to explain to him what his magic entailed, how much pain would tear through his body with each spell cast, the unimaginable hardship he to go through every time to come back to this side of the living afterwards. "My magic is a punishment," he told Kurogane cooly, "a punishment for a sin I commited a very long time ago. To live with it is the only way I can forgive myself."

Kurogane just stared back for a while, unsatisfied with the answer, numerous questions still on his lips. But, to Fay's surprise, he asked no further. To Fay's surprise, he smiled down then at him, wiping the tears from his face. And, to Fay's surprise, he leant in and kissed him, for the first time not as a lover, not seeking sexual gratification or pleasure, but as something else, something infintely more important: he kissed him as if his husband, as if his soulmate -- as if to confirm that there would be no path now in the life one of them could take without the other forever by their side.

And, later that evening, when the two lay wrapped up in one another, Kurogane fast asleep, simply content, Fay admitted to himself something he'd been denying for a while now: he loved his handsome ninja. He loved him more than he'd ever loved anything, and he knew, he just _knew_, there would be nothing he would ever love as much.


End file.
